Zoom Church – SNL


>>> all right, praise the lord
and welcome back to the mt. Methusela tower of prayer
baptist church mother's day
service. I see we got a large
congregation logged into the
zoom machine much more than last service.
Amen
>> amen. [ multiple people saying amen
>> okay, I just want to send a
friendly reminder to everybody to mute yourselves during this
service, all right
because the way that the zoom machine works is that every mic
is as loud as mine
so when y'all respond, I can't really hear myself preach.
Amen
>> amen. [ multiple people saying amen
>> I can hear y'all agreeing,
which means that you're not taking the note.
Because it's still very, very
loud, all right? So how about nobody say amen
after I say amen
amen >> amen.
[ multiple people saying amen
>> yeah, I can see this might be a longer than usual four-hour
service.
[ kid screaming now when the bible speaks about
motherhood –
>> sit y'all little asses down and be quiet
we in church
[ kid screaming >> I can see sister johnson's
mic is definitely still on
sister johnson sister johnson, we can all hear
you through the machine.
>> y'all see that? Pastor can hear y'all.
You're ruining church.
[ kid screaming >> no, I can hear you, sister
johnson.
Everybody else is on mute.

Amen
>> amen.
[ multiple people saying amen >> amen.
>> why are y'all still not on
mute and who's got the tv on?
>> "sportscenter" starts now
>> oh, that's just my james. He's watching dang
"sportscenter.
Is it too loud >> yes
>> hold on
james, can you turn it down? Is that better
can you hear it?
>> nothing has changed look, just everybody mute
yourselves
amen >> amen.
>> come on
[ multiple people saying amen >> why ain't you doing it?
>> pastor is having a hard time
hearing y'all. So we're going to go straight to
"amazing grace."
>> latrell boy, I can hear you whispering
why aren't you on mute
>> 'cause I still have to direct the choir, pastor.
>> well, just text them.
All right, I'm hearing myself echo, which means some of y'all
have your machines way up too
loud and it's bleeding into my end.
Amen
>> praise god.

[ multiple people speaking ]
>> okay.
>> amen. [ multiple people saying amen
>> praise god.
>> stop answering me okay
the lord wants everybody to
click on that little microphone with the red line through it
and where it says mute, hit yes.
Amen >> amen.
[ multiple people speaking ]
>> praise god. >> yes
you did it
oh, thank you. Thank you.
Now, can I get through this
service in peace, amen sister johnson
nobody
all right. Well, choir, I guess we should
just go into "amazing grace.
Can anybody hear I can't hear a damn thing.
Man, this sucks..

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