The Best of Tosh.0’s Is It Racist?

Not to be racist or anything,
but Asian people … We found completely random
people and asked them to interpret what she might have
been trying to say. Suck? Is that really what
she was going to … But I don't think so. Maybe she said, "Should stop
squinting so much," you know. "Asian people are certainly
a good race"? That's a very positive spin. Maybe.
Salty. That was … I think that would
be kind of racist. What?
Salty, like- [inaudible 00:00:35] salty? Soy sauce, you know what I mean? Oh, god, that's on you.
That's on you.

I can't do the Chewbacca thing, but that sounded like Chewbacca,
not an Asian thing. Asians don't do Chewbacca. Yeah. We're not even hairy. "Asian people stop"? Stop. Stop. Stop what? You know what you do. "So nice." Dude, that's racist. Just by
your accent that you put. So nice. So nice. That's racist.
You can't do it that way.

Asians so nice.
Nope. Lucky for us,
we don't have to guess, because I hired a team
of stereotypical Asian hackers to track her down. Please welcome
15 year old Rachel. Thank you for having me, Daniel. What were you trying to say
in that video? I was trying to say
that Asian people … It's about the prettiest time
of year, though. It is. I mean, those trees just look
so nice and I love getting all
those nice colors out there. Speaking of the colors,
we have Tyler Wier. [inaudible 00:01:37] Thanks, guys. Uh-oh.
That was an honest mistake. Who here hasn't
accidentally called one of their coworkers
"colored"? In this hypersensitive
day and age, it's hard to know
who will be offended by what. So, I came up with a list
of brand new terms that have absolutely no racial
connotation whatsoever.

And to make sure they're safe, I field-tested them with an
extremely diverse focus group. It's time for, "Is It Racist?" "Is It Racist?" Thank you, guys, for coming. I would like you
just to raise your hand whenever you feel the term
I use is offensive. "Cream jockey." Okay.
"Water flaps." "Here comes a pack of
water flaps. Lock up your dogs." Uh-oh. Now that
doesn't sound good. Too- No, that doesn't sound good. Okay, okay. "Sugar-taster." That's a little offensive. What do you think
sugar-taster means? I don't know. I don't know why
you think that he tastes sugar. Why do you keep pointing
to the black person? That's what I want to know. They-
"They"? "Saddle-shins." Saddle-shin? What that mean? "Bunch of stinking
saddle-shins." Use in sentence.

I just did. That was sentence? Yes. "Clink-clunk." Clink-clunk? Clink-clunk. Hey, we did the railroad
and we did all that work, and then you come back to use
[inaudible 00:02:55] terms? Okay. It's not directed
toward anyone. It's just the word
"clink-clunk." Well, I don't like it. It sounds kind of offensive. Okay, okay. This is
all good research, guys. Thank you. "Biscuit neck." "God help us if we ever have
a biscuit neck in the White House." Why does biscuit neck
offend you? I don't know.
You shouldn't say that. You shouldn't say
"biscuit neck"? You guys are- I thought it was something
against whites. You thought biscuit neck
was negative towards whites? Yeah.
I appreciate it. "Spoon face." I don't like that.

Why? Because. Lots of Asians
got round face and they might think
you're talking about them. Right. When I think of a spoon,
I think concave. You think that's
an Asian slam, huh? "Spoon face!" Yeah, because-
Spoon face! "Apple picker." Why are you
offended by apple picker? Because no one call me
an apple picker. What if you were to pick
an apple? I'm still not an apple picker. Let me find one that you are … Which one can I call you?
"Hinto"? No. "Water flaps."
No. "Gin bird."
Nope. "Bucket ducker." No.
"Dirty legs." Nah.

What about "door donkey"? Hell no. You fine with "10 eyes"? To a degree.
"10 eyes" it is. Well, thank you all
for your time. You can collect your $10
on your way out. $10? Yeah, you spoon-faced
apple picker. [Foreign Language 00:04:11] Oh. Because the whole cast
is in blackface. Got it. This is our toughest,
"Is It Racist?" yet. Are people of color
allowed to just change color? I'm just glad it's not white
people in blackface for once. [Foreign Language 00:04:34] Mario Lopez is in this? Oh, shame on you
and the people at Extra! Wearing Asian face
is bad enough, but then to add blackface
on top of it, that's downright inexcusable. So, yes, it's racist.
AC Slater is canceled. And that's how you play,
"Is It Racist?" "Is It Racist?" Goodnight!.

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